Nice Try

Truth and common ground in one message, yet cheers of support and death in many voices.

Have you ever questioned how two people could watch the same video and listen to the same speech and still come to differing conclusions on what they actually witnessed or what the message truly was?

It's true!!!

Two things that come to mind are SUR and being intentional (we will briefly discuss these in a bit). But being intentional requires putting certain things aside and thinking critically, which is sometimes tough for all of us.

As listeners—whether that be hearing, watching, or reading—we will always be bringing our knowledge, or lack thereof, personal agendas (what you hope to gain from a source—speech, text, video, etc.), and our pre-existing attitudes to the communication process. In other words, if you have already been preconditioned to hate a messenger, then that pre-existing attitude will affect your ability to listen critically to the message; it will also be a barrier to understanding the message apart from the messenger.

As an example, I shared two very well thought-out analyses of recent political events on my social media page; they were not my analyses, but I thought they were very well researched, thought out, and written. They involved the messenger to be involved in the message, to be intentional and to use critical thinking skills to write such long—they were long—and informative pieces that included evidence to support the message being delivered by the original speaker. Even with the evidence written in the post, some people were still very upset with it. Someone was so negative and bold that they responded to one of the posts, calling the person in question an idiot without providing any supporting evidence. They also complimented me on my "nice try" for posting an educated, well-thought-out, factual informational analysis.

Seriously? Yes!

Even with educated analysis using supportive factual information, some people still refused to accept or believe anything that was written in that post. THEY WOULDN'T EVEN CONSIDER ANYTHING STATED! How closed-minded is that?

I’m not saying that you have to agree with everything or even accept all things in order to be open-minded.

Sometimes someone can hold so much hate for a messenger that they therefore automatically state that the message sucks—that it’s a lie, idiotic, and a “nice try.”

Can someone be so blind that even when the sunlight of knowledge and wisdom is shining directly in their face, they can still be as blind as a bat, hearing nothing but the pings of their own noise?

It’s funny and sad how sometimes we close our eyes to the very actions witnessed and recorded on film because we don't want to admit that those we had supported, or our ascribed to political party, or a topic we like, or someone we might admire was wrong, so we continue to support their expression and/or conditioning of falsity and sometimes hate in others for one reason or another; sometimes we just do not want to admit that someone we disagree with has said something to which we do agree with or someone we were conditioned to hate was actually right, which, in our minds, might indicate a victory for them and that is something that we simply cannot allow, even if it means the destruction for our nation, fellow neighbors or family or even our very selves.

But there is another possible answer, and this one does, whether we like it or not, include us all in its grasp at least once in our lives; it’s one we all have a choice over, but we might not understand.

There is a thing called "intentional listening" in communication that will and does affect how one interprets the message that is being delivered. In other words, without intentional listening, the receiver (you when listening to a speech) is decoding the message through preconceived filters—filters of personal prejudice, bias, hatred, ignorance, and, sometimes, pure stupidity. Yes, the preconditioned hate implanted can and will have an adverse effect on your ability to discern and decode a message from said messenger.

Remember, ignorance is just a lack of knowledge, but when the knowledge, facts, evidence, and truth have been presented over and over again and the person still refuses to remove their blinders and objectively analyze what is directly in front of them, they have then chosen to lay down the excuse of ignorance and wear the hat of a dunce.

But with intentional listening, the listener is choosing "an active state of processing, interpreting, and thinking critically about a speech." An active listener will also detach themselves from the message and, if capable, often detach the messenger from the message, too. However, not everyone chooses to think critically, and some would rather parrot scripted phrases without context or evidence.

They willingly choose comforting and affirming lies over the uncomfortable growth of truth.

Something called SUR, which is an acronym for self-absorbed, unfocused, rules-driven, plays a role in the listener as well.

Most people, really all of us, fall into this trap sometimes (I know, I say that a lot; it should be common sense that helps bring understanding, but like we've said before in other writings, common sense is not so common). When someone is self-absorbed, meaning they are too focused on their feelings, own personal interests, or personal situation, then they are focused only on what concerns them personally at that moment. When we are like this, we easily miss the message; our prejudice, hate, and opinions about the messenger cause us to prejudge the message and completely miss any and all understanding. A self-absorbed listener will have difficulty listening to the ideas or interests of another person unless those ideas or interests already line up with their prejudgment, opinion, or self-interest. This is prominently evident when a political leader gives a speech.

In today’s world it’s also even easier to be unfocused while hearing a speech or reading something. An unfocused listener is also often considered to not be skilled or knowledgeable enough about what is being discussed to listen very well. Not too sure about that, but that’s a part of it. An unfocused person will have a very hard time understanding a person's argument or a complicated idea in a speech or written material. This is not specific to any one type of person; no one can know all things; therefore, we all fall into this category at times. Besides, there are so many distractions for us that we often hear something but don’t truly listen. As I’ve heard one person put it, “Audio was detected but not processed.”

Maybe that’s another reason why I was offered the very generous critique of “nice try.”